Stupid Deaths
'''Stupid Deaths 'is a recurring sketch in the Horrible Histories 2009-2013 TV series. It features historical figures explaining the circumstances of their death to the Grim Reaper (portrayed by Simon Farnaby), who then decides if they can enter the afterlife. Theme Song '' "Stupid Deaths, Stupid Deaths, they’re funny cause they’re true, Stupid Deaths, Stupid Deaths, Hope next time it’s not you! (Hoo hoo hoo!)" By Grim Reaper Episodes Series 1 Francis Bacon *Episode: 2 *Era: Slimy Stuarts *Year of Death: 1626 *Occupation: Philosopher *Method of Death: Froze to death while freezing a dead chicken. Matthew Webb *Episode: 4 *Era: Vile Victorian *Year of Death: 1883 *Occupation: Famed swimmer *Method of Death: Died at Niagara Falls, during one of his stunts. Franz Reichelt *Episode: 6 *Era: Potty Pioneers *Year of Death: 1912 *Occupation: Glue sniffer, inventor, & parachuting pioneer *Method of Death: Fell to death, while testing one of his parachutes. Edmund II *Episode: 8 *Era: Vicious Vikings *Year of Death: 1016 *Occupation: King of England *Method of Death: Stabbed in the bottom by a Viking, who hid in a pit where Edmund was doing his business. The Saxon King (portrayed by Jim Howick) tells of his famous death where he learns Vikings will stab you in the ass! General Pausanias *Episode: 11 *Era: Groovy Greeks *Year of Death: 470 BC *Occupation: Spartan regent, general, & war leader for the Greeks *Method of Death: Starved to death while trapped in the House of Pancakes, surrounded by Spartans. It also features Measly Middle Ages: The gory Middle Ages, which results in the Grim Reaper threatening to quit. Aeschylus *Episode: 12 *Era: Groovy Greeks *Year of Death: 456 BC *Occupation: Playwright & soldier *Method of Death: Killed by a tortoise, that an eagle dropped on his head. Sigurd the Mighty *Episode: 13 *Era: Vicious Vikings *Year of Death: 892 *Occupation: *Method of Death: Died of wound infection when his leg was bitten by the teeth of a severed head. Series 2 Bobby Leach *Episode: 1 *Era: Vile Victorians *Year of Death: 1926 *Occupation: Famed Swimmer *Method of Death: While on a publicity tour in New Zealand, Leach injured his leg when he slipped on an orange peel, and he later died of gangrene. Victorian Niagara Falls daredevil (portrayed by Jim Howick) tells of his stupid death, which wasn’t as heroic as his work. Heraclitus *Episode: 2 *Era: Groovy Greeks *Year of Death: 475 BC *Occupation: Philosopher *Method of Death: Died of heat exhaustion while buried under a mountain of cow dung. Tudor entertainer *Episode: 3 *Era: Terrible Tudors *Year of Death: 1540 *Occupation: *Method of Death: Stabbed himself whilst unprepared for an act. Humphrey de Bohun *Episode: 4 *Era: Measly Middle Ages *Year of Death: 1322 *Occupation: Knight *Method of Death: Stabbed in the bottom by a pike under a bridge. Clement Vallandigham *Episode: 6 *Era: Awesome USA *Year of Death: 1871 *Occupation: Politician *Method of Death: Accidentally shot himself with his own pistol, while representing a defendant. Arthur Aston *Episode: 8 *Era: Slimy Stuarts *Year of Death: 1649 *Occupation: Army officer *Method of Death: Beaten to death, by Parliamentarian soldiers, with his own wooden leg. Cockney businessman *Episode: Episode 9 *Era: Woeful Second World War *Year of Death: 1940 *Occupation: *Method of Death: Stepped off a train during the blackout before it had reached his station and fell to his death from a bridge. Draco *Episode: 11 *Era: Groovy Greeks *Year of Death: 600 BC *Occupation: Lawmaker *Method of Death: Suffocated by a mountain of hats and cloaks, caused by a Greek audience. The Greek Lawmaker, although cruel, was a bit too loved by a Greek audience! Diodorus the hunchback *Episode: 12 *Era: Rotten Romans *Year of Death: 200 BC *Occupation: *Method of Death: Died when a doctor straightened his hunchback, with three large stones on his back. The Sicilian Philosopher with a severe back problem, which he may as well not have treated whatsoever! Series 3 Greek boxer *Episode: 2 *Era: Groovy Greeks *Year of Death: *Occupation: Boxer *Method of Death: Crushed to death by a falling statue of his rival boxer, Theagenes of Thasos. An unnamed contemporary of famous Greek boxer Theagenes of Thasos beats off his rival until he topples over onto him. James II of Scotland *Episode: 3 *Era: Measly Middle Ages *Year of Death: 1460 *Occupation: King of Scots *Method of Death: Accidentally had his leg blown off, by a misfired cannon, known as "The Lion". Knights Templar *Episode: 4 *Era: Nasty Knights *Year of Death: 1187 *Occupation: Crusaders *Method of Death: While sneaking into an Arab camp, one of the Knights accidentally fell into a pit & drowned in poo. The rest were then killed by the awakened Arabs. Gruffydd Ap Llywelyn *Episode: 5 *Era: Measly Middle Ages *Year of Death: 1063 *Occupation: King of Wales *Method of Death: Fell to his death when attempting to escape using bedsheets. Griffith tells what happened when he was escaping from the Tower of London. Countess of Coventry *Episode: 6 *Era: Gorgeous Georgians *Year of Death: 1760 *Occupation: Irish beauty & London society hostess *Method of Death: Died of lead poisoning, by her own white lead beauty make-up. Kitty Fisher * Episode: 6 *Era: Gorgeous Georgians *Year of Death: 1767 *Occupation: Courtesan *Method of Death: Died of lead poisoning, by her own white lead beauty make-up. Moliere *Episode: 7 *Era: Slimy Stuarts *Year of Death: 1673 *Occupation: Playwright & actor *Method of Death: Coughed to death, on-stage, while pretending to be a sick person. Henry I *Episode: 8 *Era: Measly Middle Ages *Year of Death: 1135 *Occupation: King of England *Method of Death: Died of diarrhea as the result of taking a laxative intended to treat his indigestion after too many lampreys. Henry I (portrayed by Mathew Baynton) is made fatally ill by a meal of eels. Milo of Croton *Episode: 11 *Era: Groovy Greeks *Year of Death: *Occupation: Wrestler *Method of Death: He was attempting to tear a tree apart when his hands became trapped in a crevice in its trunk, and a pack of wolves devoured him. The famous Greek strongman (portrayed by Laurence Rickard) learns that brawn doesn’t always beat the brain, & Death starts to get the hang of Sudoku puzzles. Series 4 Tudor archers *Episode: 1 *Era: Terrible Tudors *Year of Death: Tudor Era *Occupation: Archers *Method of Death #1: The first archer shouted to him, "I bet you can't hit my hat!", so the rival archer attempted the challenge and missed, and shot him in the head. *Method of Death #2: The second archer shot one of his arrows, into the sky, he went to check where the arrow landed, and the arrow came down and landed into the top of the poor archer's head Gyrth & Leofwine (King Harold's brothers) *Episode: 4 *Era: Measly Middle Ages *Year of Death: 1066 *Occupation: King Harold II's brothers *Method of Death: Both died in the Battle of Hastings, and ironically ended the Saxon Era. Hannah Twynnoy *Episode: 6 *Era: Gorgeous Georgians *Year of Death: 1703 *Occupation: Barmaid *Method of Death: Killed by a tiger, as a result of bothering it. Richard the Raker *Episode: 7 *Era: Measly Middle Ages *Year of Death: 1326 *Occupation: Cesspit emptier *Method of Death: Fell into his own cesspit & drowned in his own poo, during his day-off, from his job of gong-farming (poop-scooping). Richard the Lionheart *Episode: 8 *Era: Nasty Knights *Year of Death: 1199 *Occupation: King of England *Method of Death: Died of gangrene after a small boy shot him in the arm with an arrow. The king was distracted by an enemy soldier smashing away arrows with a frying pan. King Richard I of England tells his Stupid Death caused by the most simple mistake! Pythagoras *Episode: 10 *Era: Groovy Greeks *Year of Death: 495 BC *Occupation: Philosopher & mathematician *Method of Death: Was killed by some rivals after refusing to run into a bean field, since touching beans was against his religion. The Greek mathematician equates that being chased by assassins & running into bean fields don’t end well! Robert Cocking *Episode: 12 *Era: Vile Victorians *Year of Death: 1837 *Occupation: Watercolor artist *Method of Death: Died in a parachute accident. Series 5 Arthur John Priest *Episode: 2 *Era: Troublesome 20th Century *Year of Death: 1937 (Ironically, the year of his death isn't shown anywhere on his pajamas.) *Occupation: Fireman, stoker, & survivor of various shipwrecks since the sinking of the RMS Titanic *Method of Death: Died in bed from pneumonia. He was refused entry into the afterlife, as the Grim Reaper considered Priest's (portrayed by Jim Howick) death in bed too boring, & not stupid enough. Ivan the Terrible *Episode: 3 *Era: Ruthless Rulers *Year of Death: 1584 *Occupation: Tsar of Russia *Method of Death: Died of a heart attack during a game of chess. It doesn't seem to give full detail about his death. Madame Blanchard *Episode: 4 *Era: Gorgeous Georgians *Year of Death: 1819 *Occupation: Aeronaut & the wife of ballooning pioneer Jean-Pierre Blanchard *Method of Death: During an exhibition, she launched fireworks that ignited the gas in her balloon; her craft crashed on the roof of a house & she fell to her death. Hans Steininger *Episode: 5 *Era: Terrible Tudors *Year of Death: 1567 *Occupation: Burgomaster of Braunau *Method of Death: Died when he broke his neck tripping over his own beard during a fire exit. Diane de Poitiers *Episode: 8 *Era: Terrible Tudors *Year of Death: 1566 *Occupation: Noblewoman & a prominent courtier *Method of Death: Died from metal poisoning as a result of consuming too much gold leaf, which is highly poisonous. Emperor Domitian *Episode: 10 *Era: Rotten Romans *Year of Death: 96 AD *Occupation: Roman emperor *Method of Death: Assassinated in the baths as a result of being deceived. Pliny the Elder *Episode: 11 *Era: Rotten Romans *Year of Death: 79 AD *Occupation: Lawyer, author, natural philosopher, naturalist, military commander, & provincial governor *Method of Death: Died in a rescue attempt during the eruption of Mt. Vesuvius. John of Bohemia *Episode: 12 *Era: Measly Middle Ages *Year of Death: 1346 *Occupation: *Method of Death: Killed in the Battle of Crecy when his companions tied their horses' reins to his own & charged-he was slaughtered in the ensuing fight. Notes *''Stupid Deaths'' had only three females for Gorgeous Georgians, all of whom were portrayed by Martha Howe-Douglas. *When Stupid Deaths started in Series 1, it first resembled an airport check-in, but from Series 2 onwards, it looks like a talent show deriving from Britain's Got Talent. See Also *Chatty Deaths, replaced Stupid Deaths in Series 6 External Links *Stupid Deaths at Horrible Histories TV *Stupid Deaths: Video Selection at Horrible Histories TV. 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